Distracted Focus

An interesting concept came up the other day. It involved the idea of daydreaming about the future and waiting for things to happen. In this case, it was discussing the idea that happiness didn’t have to wait for the terms of such things of, “I’ll be happy when I get a new house,” or “I’ll be happy when I become a full-time writer.” (That second one fits more closely to this writer.) The argument was is that often these things that we are waiting for are either not in our control, not guaranteed, or temporary.

I’ve thought about this a lot in the last few days in particular, especially on the heels of my prior post “Is The Goal Worth It?” where the thought of being stuck with a process before, during, and after the goal is achieved, in other words, to do something because the process is worth it, not so much the goal worth reaching. For this writer, it very much does involve that idea of being a writer and how much I want to be a financially successful writer.

Sometimes, like the other day, the feeling of wanting to become a full-time writer becomes overwhelming. It is nearly destabilizing. When it happens, the feeling takes over, pushing out the willpower to write — or better said, it kills the very behaviors that are needed to achieve that desire. Spending too much time pining about life as a full-time writer is counter productive to the actual tasks of being a writer. Go figure! To further it, what conditions have I laid out to best support that goal? Not many… In other words, all the conditions (whatever they may be) that are in my control have not been met, so no matter how much I dream about it rather than do it will only push this supposed dream out further to the distance.

What is it do I want as a writer? Do I want to enjoy the process of writing or do I only want the financial success? The accolades? Is it writing that is more important, or money? If it is the writing, then why do I insist on not being satisfied and happy now? Sure, focus the tasks and process of writing so that one day it might become my primary career. It might not happen though. Am I ready to accept that and still write?

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