Did I Stutter?

Yes. Yes I did.

This week has been trying. Suffice to say that life has thrown another curveball and at least for temporary measures, routines have been thrown out of balance. If anything, it is a handy test to see whether a) how disciplined I can be with regards to my routines (the answer: not very) and b) if I will be able to get back on track.

In a few days things should return to a normal pattern, but it will change yet again after that. Of course. Life is best defined as a series of events designed to keep one on their toes. It’s a series of stutters in my case, try try try try then try again before finally getting the words out.

Or give up because the words won’t come even with the repetition.

But I have no plans to give up. One of the promises I made myself as the year shifted and I celebrated another birthday was to not allow myself to give up or allow setbacks to derail the whole of the journey. Not like I did in 2018. Not like I’ve done at nearly every point in my writing venture. This time, I was going to keep moving forward, even if it is with spinning tires and a st-st-st-st-stutter.

Now please note, I am in no way trying to make light of someone who actually has a stutter. I often get stuck on a thought and have trouble explaining out loud what it is that I am trying to say. As frustrating as that is for me, I cannot imagine being one who struggles with such a speech impediment. However, it was a fitting analogy in my mind, so I went with it, even if it isn’t wholly appropriate.

Like I’ve written previously, my new philosophy has taken a “one-day-at-a-time” turn in my approach. To take that approach, I am learning to accept that there will be days or weeks or whatever where it will be an additional challenge to accomplish what I set out to do. Sometimes I will know ahead; sometimes it will be a surprise. In a way, this week was a combination of both. I knew of what this week ahead of time, yet the challenges have surprised me some. Yet, as Marcus Aurelius has said: “The impediment to action advances action. That which stands in the way becomes the way.” I must learn to operate within the confines of the challenges I encounter.

As I continue moving forward, there will be more challenges to overcome. I must take them each as the way to move forward, to improve. I might continue to have these times where things stand in the way of goals, but I will continue to try this time. I will continue to push forward.

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