Jeremy C Kester

Again? Really? You may have noticed that I’ve posted every day this week at least one time. Yes, I am trying the daily blogging thing once again.

Over the last year I was at best posting once a week. Once I had tried this blogging every day thing but it hadn’t gone over that well. In other words: I failed at it.

As mentioned in my post from Monday, “On Failing,” I have a problem with consistency. I am consistently inconsistent.

It has a lot to do with that nagging glob that always resides in the back of my mind: doubt. I doubt myself. And like any self-fulfilling prophesy, I allow that doubt to overcome my goals eventually derailing anything I work on. Amazing that I have so many books published so far really…

Not amazing, that I haven’t sold but a few over the years. There’s that doubt thing again.

After reading a post from Cristian Mihai about how he blogged every day for 5 years, I was again encouraged to try that out… again. After all, I need a platform to build my audience. Without it, I will not make it as an indie writer, forever writing only to myself and the few who stumble upon me.

Right as I was thinking about doing it, of giving it another go, then the doubt slapped me in the back of the head. It apparently needed to remind me that it was still there.

I immediately doubted that I would be able to commit to the task. To remain consistent. I mean, I can’t even keep up with one post a week, right?

The problem isn’t the doubt itself. The problem lies with how I treat this doubt.

In the past? I gave into it. Hard. I allowed for anything I tried to get derailed. I would feign an attempt, but ultimately I had already given up before even starting. Then when the first miss occurs, instead of treating the incident like a fluke, I allow it to finish me off.

Lately I have been learning much more about myself. Part of it is the work I am doing while reading through “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.” More of it is other general self-improvement/learning techniques I am trying to work into my life. One thing common in all of them is that both failure and doubt will always be constants. Use failure. Recognize and push through doubt. Don’t let either be all-consuming destroyers of goals.

While that can be difficult, it is imperative to living a happy life. The more I allow doubt and failure to win, the less I feel that I am going anywhere. And what does that do? Build on top of the doubt and sense of failure.

Rather than allow that any longer, I am going to try blogging at least once a day, every day. Will I be 100%, probably not. But damn it, I am going to try. And when I am not 100%, I am not going to let that stop me from just getting up and trying again. I am not going to let this doubt stop me from failing this time. Or succeeding? I am so confused…