Jeremy C Kester

So, you don’t want to be a writer?  Good.  This is definitely for you.  These are the instructions on how not to be a writer at whatever stage of not wanting to write that you are at:

1. Do not open your notebook (if you write via pen and paper) or that pesky word processing program. It might provoke temptation to write. Can’t have that.
2. If on the computer, open your internet browser.
   Go now to your social media accounts. Spend copious amounts of time mindlessly scrolling through uninteresting items and folks struggling to make their lives more entertaining and interesting than they truly are.
3. Do not post any updates on writing related things. You don’t want to give the impression that you should be writing. Keep that stuff away.
4. Done the social media stuff? Open some games. Check out the celeb trash gossip on sites like the Daily Mail, or TMZ.
5. Done with the computer? Turn on the TV. Just turn on anything. Doesn’t matter whether the shows are mindless or truly good, watching TV means you aren’t writing.
6. Fidget spinners… nuff said.
7. Turn on your Xbox, Playstation, or Nintendo switch. Find a game. Something addictive like Minecraft. Play.
8. Come to think of it you still have to catch up on Walking Dead, Game of Thrones, and Stranger Things.
9. Hold on… my wife’s calling me to do something.
10. I am back. Oh wait, what just came up on Twitter?
11. Repeat.
12. Nap time!
13. Weren’t you planning on going to the gym today? Seems like as good a time as any.