I change my mind a lot. Back and forth I go often spinning wheels in the metaphorical mud of life. Too often this back and forth ends up pushing me into a position where my creative work suffers. There is a lot that I want to do. Check that, there’s a lot that I wish that I really wanted to do.
What I mean by that last statement is that there is a lot of things that I wish I was interested enough in doing. Need a further explanation? I will give you an example: political writing. I have a political opinion. I have theories of what would work and what wouldn’t. I’ve talked about wanting to write politically on a separate blog. Unfortunately for my desires, my interests in doing so are only whenever I am seeing some affront to my political opinion. Outside of that, my interests poopoo the idea of even bothering to delve deep enough to make holding a blog about it worthwhile.
It’s like wanting to be an astronaut. It’s a fanciful idea, but the effort that I would have to put into it far outweigh my interest.
So remember that time I said I wanted to start a political blog? Yeah, forget that. Honestly I have been more preoccupied relearning how to draw (I am surprised at how much skill I retained despite 20 years not really putting effort in), writing creatively, and building my atheism blog, things I do have the interest to put the energy into. Although I might fly into a political essay now and then, depending on the topic I will let this be my forum. Otherwise it will be for me.