I am batting .500
Now while that is better than good in baseball, it sucks when you say you are going to blog everyday as I had. It’s not even close to good enough. But that’s what happens when you still haven’t learned how to carve out time on the weekends to do these kinds of things.
But I committed myself to blog daily, and while I immediately failed at that, I cannot just throw in the towel. I have to keep going, suck it up, and write. That is what this was all about anyway.
When I post this, it will improve my record to 3 for 5. That brings up a problem I keep going back to: I am focusing on the score rather than the process.
It’s always about the process. In business, it is understood that good results cannot be expected without a good process. Sure, they can happen, but it is far more likely to happen with the process is robust.
With writing, the same can easily be said. Sure, I could by chance earn my living off of writing. It could happen tomorrow. It isn’t likely however. My process stinks much like my armpits after a grueling workout. Exhibit A:my site. Exhibit B: the two years between published work (I am self-published, so what in hell am I waiting for… and the next chapter of Gravity… where is that?!).
I just don’t focus on the process. I worry incessantly about results forcing myself through very tough spots all the while burning out my creative energies. Then when I become burned out I feel like shit because I lack motivation or energy to write. It is a cycle.
Instead, I should be focusing on my behaviors, on the process of writing. That’s not to say that a process will be fool-proof, because this fool will certainly find a way to mess it up. Adjust. And I will find that writing under a process will be at best: difficult. Why? It’s not how I am used to working. But how I work is driving poor results. I adjust the process if it doesn’t work. Eventually it will work in my favor. Another example of this from the business world is the PDCA, or Plan, Do, Check, Act. It’s a circular reference of monitoring a process and taking actions as needed. It is one of the Toyota principles (and don’t get me started on Toyota in the business world… I have issues there).
Everything changes; everything evolves. That is, except my writing habits. They seem to be mired down in blame and results. Because of it, I fit the sheer definition of insanity: doing the same thing over and over while expecting different results.
When will I stop expecting things to change around me while I refuse to make changes myself? If I want to get better, I have to make it happen.