Being Nice

I don’t like Trump. Didn’t vote for him. But he is our President here in the US. And even though I don’t like him, I would surely with that he is successful as President rather than being a failure at it. His success should mean the same for the country. While I can see that one might have a differing idea on what that success it, I would assume the end goal is the same no matter what. But that doesn’t seem to be the case. A lot of people want him to fail, badly. These people yell and scream at Trump or whomever may look to be his supporters with hatred and vitriol. Then they wonder why no one is taking them seriously. Has insulting someone with more power than you, such as your boss, ever gotten you your way?

Our current President is a prime example in how our society appears to have lost its ability to be nice. Both sides expect the other to behave while acting terrible in their own right. One each side we treat those with opposing views poorly, ignoring all meanings within the golden rule. It’s as though we forgot the art of civility, of being nice. It’s a wonder sometimes that we haven’t broken down into complete mayhem. When did civility lose favor?

Being nice to others doesn’t have to be a challenge. It doesn’t have to be forgotten either when we encounter those who are not nice to us. I’d argue that it is more important then. Calling someone a Nazi, Hitler, racist, sexist, a snowflake, or some other derogatory term puts them on the defensive. They no longer are interested in holding civil discourse, or in sharing ideas. They want to fight back. They want to defend their honor. Especially considering that in just about all cases the broad insult is way off-base. Most people just want someone to listen to them and to acknowledge the injustices that have been made against them. One doesn’t have to fully get it. Everyone’s pain is different. Everyone’s pain is their own. Being nice allows us to learn that pain.

Now there will always be those who do not respond in kind when we are nice to them. It’s hard to remain nice when the person we talk to truly is a terrible entity. Still, it’s not going to get anyone anywhere to stoop to that level in response.

With Trump, calling him names, insulting him, or whathaveyou cannot be seriously expected to garner his favor. Do we really believe he’d listen then? Not a chance. The best thing to do is to appeal to his humanity and his intelligence, whether or not one can argue that he doesn’t have any. He might listen. He might not. But he won’t listen if what’s being sent his way are hateful speech.

We all want to be treated kindly. We want someone to be nice to us. To care. To listen. So why can’t we seem to do the same to others?

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